Stalled

So what is it, this dull and sluggish time?

I feel I am an unnavigable river…silted up, trickling slowly through the weeds and the mud.

The wind has gone out of my sails.

I am learning, slowly, to manage these times. I have been shown how to use a boat to stay afloat.

I need more practise with the oars…

……….even so,  I do not drown. Or sink as far as I might have done in the past.

But oh, how I hate it.

How I deride myself for wasting such a good life.

I beat myself up…SHOULD learn faster, SHOULD try harder, SHOULD….

… I don’t know what is possible?

 

I need a bigger engine.

I dream of a fierce current to wash me out of this complacent puddle, this wallowing in self pity.

Send me a strong wind…

….. before my brain  forgets how to fly.

 

 

…sorry…rather awkward analogies. Or is it mixed metaphores?  Or simply a messy brain…

 

 

 

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